10. Embattled Senator Larry Craig (R. Idaho) begins writing what will soon become the N.Y. Times best-selling book, Taking a 'Wide Stance' on Alternative Energy.
9. Bush is overheard saying, "Hmm...maybe this solar energy thing ain't such a bad idea."
8. NASCAR races are shortened to 3 ½ laps. Drivers must hop to the finish in a ‘sack race'...Jeff Gordon still wins.
7. The U.S military pulls out of Iraq, saying, "Screw democracy."
6. Ford Launches new "Flintstones" option with detachable floorboards.
5. Decrepit oil drilling and pumping rigs around the world are purchased for 3 cents on the dollar by Disney Corp. for its new adventure ride.
4. Willie Nelson inks a deal with Exxon to promote a new line of hemp-powered "high-brid" vehicles.
3. Pasty, old, white politicians remind everyone that, "Skateboarding is not a crime -- it's an energy-efficient form of transportation...dudes."
2. Jiffy Lubes across the U.S. convert into coffee shops overnight.
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